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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 12, 2011 2:40:55 GMT -5
I haven't forgotten about this! School has just been keeping me occupied...
And so has Minecraft...Minecraft is destroying my life. It eats time!
Anyway, I'll definitely read chapter five tomorrow and give my thoughts. Unless I don't, but know that I'll feel like a real shithead in that case.
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 12, 2011 15:34:53 GMT -5
You're pretty good Cere... I think that the added tension just makes the story more interesting, I don't know why you are upset about it... Plus, I haven't really written how its going to play out with Yuna and Sera yet. He just made a decision quickly, he may come around. I'm just not understanding what exactly you aren't liking about the story. I mean, I'll change it, but really it just sounds like you want it to be just... Legends 2 again... I don't know, finding out the truth about what you are, and Yuna and Sera not being honest with you completely, it would give him a little uneasiness... I kind of like the idea of them growing up, I think that the 14 year old story has kind of reached the end of its rope. I mean, Megaman wouldn't really be able to handle much of any of this, I think.... I don't know.... Tell me what you are thinking it should be. I promise I'll change it more in that direction, because you seem to understand what I'm going for... In fact, you were spot on in some of the things you said, and how the maverick virus always seems to be a bad thing, it's gonna be pretty important... You don't like that though? You are kinda stepping all over me haha.
And 42, I totally understand, I'm in the same boat right now. I have a physics exam this week, another chemistry lab this Wednesday, all sorts of crap, so I haven't really been writing all that much, I started the next chapter though, but I'll probably have to go through and add a whole bunch, I was pretty tired... lol... But if you have any thoughts, let me know
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Post by Cere on Feb 12, 2011 16:10:18 GMT -5
Crap, I thought you were kidding about feeling hurt (that's why the internet is a terrible medium for communication). Typhon, by all means, continue the story as you envisioned it. It's your story, not mine. Also, there's a difference between not enjoying the story and not enjoying what's happening in the story. I really like your story. So when I say I don't like what this or that character is doing, or why something has to happen to that character, it's because I care about the characters, and I don't want bad things to happen to them. Worrying about the characters is independent of the quality of your story because every good story has to have a conflict or two. To clarify the misunderstanding, I'm not complaining about your story at all. I'm worried about the characters because I detect that they're making bad choices that will hurt them in the future, and the fact that you as the author has made me worried means that you're doing a great job keeping me interested in finding out what happens next.
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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 12, 2011 22:40:12 GMT -5
Alright, reading Chapter five as promised!
I don't know, I feel like Sera is becoming too emotional too quickly. She just spent thousands of years being a stone cold robot bitch, now she's all “Hunh! Says you!" I'm all for her becoming more open, but even Seven of Nine from Star Trek Voyager took awhile to develop any semblance of human emotion or understanding of how real people live...if that means anything to you. If it doesn't, look up her character on Memory Alpha sometime. She and Sera are very similar characters in very similar situations (In my opinion, anyway.)
As a personal note, I've been trying to imagine these characters in an anime-type style, but I can't shake the old PS1 graphic style in my mind! Frustrating...
That bitch! Pirating is harder work than sitting your fat ass on the Flutter all the time! And stupid!?...Oh, this isn't a Tron/Roll debate?
And Roll's troubled childhood memories come pouring out...
Wait, how did they test-fire the rocket...and still have the rocket to fire a second time?
Hmm, with the weight limit, it would be interesting if they couldn't bring Yuna or Sera back. It would be very dramatic...traumatic. Although I guess that wouldn't matter for the return trip since they'd be in space and then dropping...into the ocean, I'm assuming? Nevermind, I looked up how shuttles actually return today...come to think of it, is there a shuttle on this rocket?
Huh, you know, Ira would have actually been a good choice for the MML3 girl. At least it would have had some sort of meaning to the fans.
They looked at their feet? During the middle of the conversation, at the same time, with everyone watching them? That would be strange...
So the crew will be Roll, Tron, and Ira. And I'm assuming Data won't count towards the weight limit, and that the limit is already based around the Gustaff? (If that's what was being stated earlier, I wasn't sure.) So, if only six people max can go, someone other than Megaman will have to stay behind...interesting.
Done. Probably seems like I bitched a lot, but I really liked the chapter. I love reading the parts with Tron and Roll. I feel like you really have their characters down. And I really liked that last moment where Tron asked Roll if they would make it. I could see it all very vividly and it just really worked well for me.
Also, I'm going to read your conversations with Cere and see if I have any input.
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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 12, 2011 23:12:45 GMT -5
As far as Cere's thoughts on the exposition, I guess I agree. But I just kind of felt like that was something to get out of the way, so it didn't really matter how it was delivered.
As for Roll's characterization, I think it's great. It's a perfect balance between her "sweet and pure" game self and and older, more realistic person.
I'm glad you feel that adding the point of view of minor characters like Bensley(?) would be lame. It would weigh the story down and most readers would just be waiting for it to be over.
lol Why should Megaman trust two weird robot chicks that he hasn't actually known for very long over someone who is essentially himself?
Surprisingly, I agree with Cere that you should write this story how you want to. If you try to accommodate for your readers at every turn, your story will just be lame. (Like MML3 will probably be! Just saying...) Just stay true to your own instincts while writing this.
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Post by Cere on Feb 13, 2011 0:48:48 GMT -5
Just a quick comment after reading 42's posts. I made a comment about Sera acting out of character too, but corrected myself when I realized that Sera was pretty snappy and arrogant in the game as well despite her resemblance to expressionless characters such as Yuki Nagato. It's odd seeing her getting so excited about Megaman's findings because we're not used to display that degree of emotion or express it so openly.
As for why Megaman should trust two weird robot chicks he hasn't actually known for very long over someone who is essentially himself, perhaps because he doesn't know that latter at all? After all, he and X have had very different experiences that make them very different people. And things have occurred that I doubted X could have foreseen, such as Megaman destroying the Master system even before witnessing this recording, and teaming up with the Mother Units. But I don't know all the details and may be making my argument based on the wrong premises (maybe X really did predict everything in the future). In other words, I'm eager to find out what happens next as much as you are.
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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 13, 2011 1:42:10 GMT -5
Maybe it's not that she's too emotional in this fic, it's that she's too...familiar? I don't know how to describe it well, but in the games she's very formal, even when being arrogant and snappy, or even when being friendly with Yuna at the end. Let me use an example from the game.
Game Sera: When you destroyed your original shell, I became the only Mother Unit for this system. I am within the Master System parameters. Fairness is irrelevant.
How typhon MIGHT write this: You destroyed your original shell. I'm the only Mother Unit for this system now, and I don't need to be fair!
fic Sera: Hunh! Says you! Megaman has in his possession perhaps one of the most important discoveries on Elysium to date! Perhaps it’s about the past, or the Elders? Don’t you want to know?
Uh, well I just don't see her doing any of that, so I can't really theorize how game Sera might have said it. The pacing, the petulant attitude, the informal way of speaking, the general impatience...
I can see Yuna being impatient and curious, with Sera just waiting patiently, not saying much, perhaps noting that Megaman is taking a long time while not throwing a fit over it.
I guess the reason I'm being so critical about this is because Sera is the only character who I think isn't perfectly characterized. The others are just fine, so I can only focus my attention on her.
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 13, 2011 1:54:03 GMT -5
You guys are freaking awesome
seriously
and no, Cere I'm not upset! Not at all, I was just kinda like... "Well how the hell am I going to write myself out of THIS one" lol.
Yeah, the Sera thing... I think you guys are right on that one. I actually thought about that when I was writing Chapter 2... Kinda wanted to see what would happen. But you are right, she's more... girly and snippy. She should sort of be less like that.... Eh, maybe she just is used to Megaman and Yuna, so she is less... dorky.... But when she (if she) comes to Terra, she may be like that again with everyone else. Maybe its just a defense mechanism. In fact, that's how I'll write it. That way, she can go back to being that, and still have the previous stuff make sense... And I'm not doing it cause I wanna please everyone, I kinda did think she sounded a bit off...
Roll's troubled childhood... lol...
You know what? You guys convinced me. I'm gonna go write the next chapter
You rock
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 13, 2011 16:21:09 GMT -5
I hate to do this, because I was planning on just doing this all as one whole chapter, but I've split it into 2 parts, because I have to go to work so... oh well... Perhaps it would have been too long that way... Chapter Up! Blast Off Zuhilfekommen! Attachments:
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Post by Cere on Feb 15, 2011 23:49:37 GMT -5
I read chapter 6 on the day you posted it, but my review got delayed by two tests and now a cold. In any case, here's my thanks for writing more.
You're getting a lot better conveying everyone's thoughts naturally. I'll have to reread to find out why it seemed unnatural in the previous chapters. You covered all the characters who matter right now (Roll, Tron, and Ira) and even a bit on the minor people, which really helps to lend a bit of realism to your story. Some details, like kids wanting to ride the mini rockets and good luck girls shirts were easy to imagine and made all the characters' excitement a lot more palpable.
The rocket's name is quite a mouthful so I won't dare to pretend I know the correct pronunciation. I forgot what the other instances were, but I notice you always manage to slip in a bit of humour unique to the members of this message board.
It's too bad there isn't a space battle. Ah well, it's a personal wish to play using a Gustaff customized for space use with verniers and a single drum shaped booster on its back against space schools of space reaverbots. I should say a bit about the latter part of the chapter taking place on Elysium. I think it's a little strange for a computer to state that someone has 'once again' been deemed aberrant because the need to emphasize "once again" seems to carry some resentment. It seems strange for a supposedly impartial AI to speak in that tone.
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Post by MikΣy on Feb 21, 2011 11:18:21 GMT -5
To Typhon's suprise and my own, I've actually read the last 4 chapters in my 1st period class, thanks to a mixture of apathy and being caught and unable to escape; figuratively. I love all of the little references from the boards mixed into the story, really awesome. To be completely honest, I know nothing about Classic Megaman or X. I guess you could say I'm half-hoping the story may shine some light on that aspect... perhaps? *is suddenly reminded of Flash Strikes, Charged Tackles, and Blue Pin Missiles* I just wish I could actually see the reaverbots getting dead myself. And- at that point in time, I'm really glad I'm not Megaman. I'm not much of a suggestions person, but I really love what I see.
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Post by Cere on Feb 21, 2011 14:06:21 GMT -5
In Typhon's place, thanks for reviewing, Mikey. It's great to see other people understand the things you like.
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 21, 2011 15:21:29 GMT -5
Haha thanks cere? Lol I just hadn't signed on yet
Yeah, Mikey, I was planning on going into it a bit, but I actually went through it alot in chapter 1 and 2, but more is coming. As for the classic series.... I can't wait, lol. I'm not saying anything, it's plot important, but I'll get into it later.
I guess I'll give you guys a peek, seeing as how I haven't posted the newest chapter yet... (working on it)
Megaman recovering the code will follow a similar plot to the legends and x series as far as fighting enemies is concerned. Each one will explain a different part of the story, zero series, x series, and the beginning of x series, leading to the end of the story, and also it's beginning, the classic series. I love my idea, I hope you guys do too
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 21, 2011 15:34:33 GMT -5
Btw, I wanna know what you guys are hoping to happen, or have explained. That way I can attempt to close capcom's plotholes, or just something you always wanted resolved. I just love input, cause it gets me thinking, you know? I haven't been posting cause I had a bunch of exams, but I'll get a move on with this, I think you've waited long enough
edit: i noticed my phone had predicted texted the word "poorhouse" for "plotholes". Technology sucks hahaha
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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 21, 2011 16:17:17 GMT -5
I'll give the input on my upcoming review - which is coming soon! As far as internet affairs are concerned, I've had too many other irritating things on my mind to really focus on writing constructive reviews.
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