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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 4, 2011 23:57:45 GMT -5
So, as I said in the Legends RP section, I started to write a Legends Fan fic, and I've finished the first couple of chapters... I think that I'll post all of them up, so that you can get into the story a little, then I'll update them... Obviously, Reading and Reviewing is more than welcome... But I guess I'll explain my thought process.
I wanted to create an RP that is going to be a succession to the Legends franchise story, but make it deal with more and more mature themes. I kinda thought that the original story line had them pretty young, so I've developed the timeline as something like this... They were 14 on Kattlelox, there for about a year (Which seems more realistic than, like, a day, as it seems to be when you are playing it), so they are 15 when they leave, about, then they were about 16 at the start of MML2, which seems reasonable, because I wouldn't leave two 14 year old kids flying my ship around without me, which Barrel did, so that makes sense, and 17 by the time my story starts, about a month or two after the ending of the second game. I tried to be really realistic about those elements, and also to establish that now that they are 17, they can develop character-wise. This includes relationships, not just crushes, and other themes, that you will discover as you read
I plan on taking this story, and creating a true, cohesive story that encompasses all of the "Main Universe" Elements, including Classic, X, and Legends, and combining them into my own, personal canon of what really happened at every stage. It's gonna be really cool. I've already had like 4 points in the story where, while I was writing it, I got goosebumps. Cause I want it to be all "True" and believable.
So I'll post this on here... I may start a post on fanfiction.net too, that way I can separate the chapters as well... and if you have any thoughts, pm me, or hell, just response to this thread.
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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 5, 2011 0:37:00 GMT -5
To be honest, I'm really excited about this! I always like to imagine characters like this in more mature and realistic situations. They're kids in a happy little Megaman game, but they're also teenagers, people growing up and discovering the world in the midst of some pretty extreme situations. A little more depth could create some pretty amazing character-driven material. The latest War of Rollite Aggression really made me want to explore that, actually.
I can't wait to see how this will go!
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 5, 2011 0:44:27 GMT -5
haha I'm actually gonna be pretty fair with the whole relationship aspect... Both Tron and Roll are on equal ground right now (even Sera too lol), and I'm keeping them pretty true to the characters (You have any idea how hard it is to put tone inflection in for Teisel and Tron? Its a NIGHTMARE LOL)
I just finished editing it, sort of, so I have the Prologue, first, and second chapters done... I can already tell this is gonna be one hell of a long story... hopefully a good one... I think I've done a pretty good job with the "jaw drops, that's so COOL" revelations...
You know what? whatev, I'm just gonna post em all right now
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 5, 2011 0:50:49 GMT -5
Let's see if this works, sorry If I'm doing a bunch of double posting, I haven't done this sort of thing in a while... so... yeah Attachments:
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 5, 2011 0:53:34 GMT -5
Chapter 1: Elysium's Legacy Attachments:
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 5, 2011 0:54:00 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Cold and Dark Chapter 3, Inspiration, coming soon! Oh, right, and if I suck, just let me know, I'm cool with that lol... or any ideas... I've got a pretty good idea, but anything you want thrown in there is cool Attachments:
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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 5, 2011 10:43:08 GMT -5
I'm half-wayish through the prologue, and I decided that I would note anything that comes time mind while reading.
Prologue I like the idea that people are actually aware of the crazy things these kids have been doing.
I like the recognition of Elysium as the second moon. I always wondered what people would think of something like that.
You mentioned the "feds". That always made me wonder, what sort of government is there on Terra? Are there multiple nations, or one loose government? Or is each island simply it's own tiny nation? Then the police coming after the Bonnes would have to be some sort of Interpol, I guess.
How does one pronounce Islandddd?
lol Teisel would.
Wow. So Teisel is probably the richest person on Terra now right? To be able to pay everything back in the span of a few months, he must be making huge sums of money. He's really a business man now, no longer a pirate. Should be interesting.
Ah, who's military? (This isn't a criticism or anything, and I'm sure...everyone else reading this wouldn't think twice, but this is the kind of thing I'm interested in.)
Roll and Tron get all lubed up. I'm sure they just happened to be wearing sexy lingerie at the time.
All in all, good work on the prologue. Some interesting ideas with a lot of potential here.
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 5, 2011 11:13:35 GMT -5
Haha I thought some fanservice was necessary haha, the beginning of the story was a little iffy. But there's actually gonna be a reason. But mostly I did want to kinda make a point about how, if they did all these things, they would be super famous, but yet that never really seemed to be a problem. I don't know, just kinda wanted to extrapolate on that a little before actually getting to the story. Chapter 1 is better for that.
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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 5, 2011 11:21:07 GMT -5
Chapter 1
IS Megaman a carbon?
lol It's nice that you added her, but I don't know if Tron is one of the people that Megaman would be missing specifically. Gramps and Data sure, but probably not the girl who is usually more harmful than helpful to him.
There's nothing wrong with it, as MML fans will know what you mean, but it was amusing to wonder what people who never played the game would think of someone who used to refer to herself as Mistress. Some sort of sex villain no doubt.
Ugh, I realized I was reading MM's parts in the MML2 voice. Correcting that now...
Oh, I was imagining Sera in Yuna's body. Interesting that she would want a more mature form. Well, pedophilia is awkward. I'll give you that one.
Oh, so did Yuna. I was imagining her in... Oh, god, where's Matilda's body!?
I just finished the chapter. Exposition is too interesting for me to interrupt. I enjoyed pretty much all of it, luckily I read a MM timeline once, so I understood most of the references. And the revelation at the end did get me. The only thing that bothered me was just prior to that.
“Despite everything that had happened, the Elders and humans loved each other, and mankind, looking down on its creation, decided to do something unthinkable…
In an instant, right here, in this very control room, Mankind doomed the entire Elder System to oblivion.”
So, if humans still loved their creations on the surface, why did they destroy them?
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 5, 2011 12:06:38 GMT -5
... say you have a dog that's gone rabid, that you dont trust anymore. Sometimes the dog is normal, but you still put it down. I don't know, writing, it was very strange how everything just sort of... Fell into place. I mean hell, the thing on axl's head in the x series is basically a big sign saying "look at me, I'm a forerunner to the thing on gatz's head in legends!" the only part that was a stretch was how they got from what it was to the terra current. I was certain the refractors were the answer, even if the reasoning behind it was lame. Nuclear fusion? Come on... Lol. WELL SCREW IT IT'S MY STORY! fusion reactions are real, goddamn it!! Hahaha
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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 5, 2011 12:42:07 GMT -5
Ah, alright. I guess it just wasn't entirely clear. I guess by that point it seemed like humans would have no reason to like the Elder System at all, so it was kind of jarring to understand that they actually still cared for them and thus planned to murder them utterly. A little clarification on their reasoning would have cleared up the confusion. (Or maybe it comes up in chapter 2 and I'm getting ahead of myself...)
As for the refractors, I probably just would have referred to them as some miraculous new energy source that could do anything the Ancients wanted them to, but that would be a little too easy I guess lol.
As for everything else, I thought it was good backstory. The impact is probably lost on me for the most part because I haven't played basically any other MM series games.
I shall proceed to chapter 2 now.
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 5, 2011 12:51:53 GMT -5
...The interest was really just self preservation. You haven't played the X games, which isn't really too much of a loss, but yeah, given that you know what happens in those games, this story would make a whole lot more sense. Kinda hard to be cohesive if you don't know the background. What really gonna cook your brain later is how I'm gonna go back to Megaman Classic. It's gonna be awesome... for me, anyway, I think its fun reading this... I just hate it when you think you are writing something good and people read it and are like... "Meh, it's alright" hahaha
I wanna make it BETTER!
interesting thought on an extrapolation of why they chose to do it though.... I think I'll flesh that out more later. Thanks 42. And don't worry, You are Tron's favorite servbot. Expect a cameo for sure hahaha
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Post by Servbot42 on Feb 5, 2011 13:10:06 GMT -5
Oh, don't get me wrong, I think this is great! Pretty much everything is great, and I hope you realize that a lot of the things I've brought up are just innocent musings on my part. Anything else is mean to be constructive criticism. Speaking of which...
Chapter 2
I've been sitting here absorbing chapter 2. At first I thought the fact that humans vanished into thin air was odd, but then I remembered that was exactly what the Master did, so good job on that one. Right now I'm at the part where it has been revealed that the water will recede.
Oh! I just realized that the water receding was noticed earlier by Roll. Nice touch.
Done - Oh, shit! How are they going to stop that?
Oh and I can't wait for that cameo! haha
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 5, 2011 14:40:50 GMT -5
Almost done with chapter 3! I'll try and get it up before I go to work...
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Feb 5, 2011 15:14:19 GMT -5
Chapter 3: Inspiration is up!! Of course, this isn't really edited, and I usually like to go through and add stuff in to flesh out the parts that I feel are a little weak... But I don't really wanna do that now, cause I wanna go eat before work... so... lol Just tell me what to fix, and I can do it later... Attachments:
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