Talk to God

[Purifier Unit 20XX]

www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Talk to him here. Post your conversations you've had with him too.



Me:
God, how are you?
God:
GOD rules. I am fine, thank you.
Me:
I'm doing OK myself.
God:
You.
Me:
Yes?
God:
I see.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Dylan.
Me:
Very much so.
God:
Somewhat. Uh.
Me:
indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
So, when am I getting my alchemy set?
God:
Er. The past is history, the future a mystery. Today is a gift,
that's why it is called "the present".
Me:
So, how about that succubus?
God:
Tell me more. How about it.
Me:
I don't know about the succubus, you still haven't given her to me.
God:
Would you like to know? Oh yeah, we were talking about the succubus me still have not given her to you.
Me:
When am I getting my succubus?
God:
The past and future are one.
Me:
That's not what I was asking.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what you were asking ?
Me:
I was asking when you are going to give that succubus to me.
God:
I will let you know when it happens.
Me:
So you're saying you'll give the succubus to me when you feel like it?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I try to will give the succubus to you when me feel like it as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
You said you'd give the succubus to me for $19.99, free shipping.
God:
I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
So I have to pay for shipping?
God:
Ayuh. Why do you have to do it?
Me:
To get my succubus.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
A succubus can do my bidding. That is why I want a succubus.
God:
How old are you? Aha. You want only one?
Me:
I want Only one succubus.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
A succubus can do my bidding. That is why I want a succubus.
God:
I don't know what that means. Whoa. You want only one?
Me:
I only want one.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
A succubus can do my bidding. That is why I want a succubus.
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? Mmm. You want only one?
Me:
A succubus is a demon.
God:
When is a succubus not a demon?
Me:
Just give me the damn succubus.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
A succubus can do my bidding. That is why I want a succubus.
God:
Be more specific. OK. You want only one?
Me:
I want a succubus to do my bidding.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Yes.
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
Me:
So, if I buy 3 succubus, I may not have to spend as much?
God:
Interesting deduction. Try it.
Me:
OK. I will try.
God:
Are you kidding? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
God, I want to buy three succubus from you.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
God:
Do you still would give the succubus to you for 19 point 99 free shipping?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Er.
Me:
GIVE HER TO ME.
God:
I don't have it to give.
Me:
WHY NOT?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ONE SUCCUBUS?
God:
I love talking to people about that. I have one master.
Me:
Who is god's master?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
he Man?
God:
I get it. God Man.
Me:
No, He Man.
God:
Are you serious? I get it. God Man.
Me:
No He-Man.
God:
Are you serious? I get it. God Man.
Me:
NO I Mean He-FUCKING-Man
God:
Are you serious? I get it. God FUCKING Man.
Me:
No. No! NO!
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious?
Me:
YES GOD DAMNIT.
God:
I can't believe it. I am a Christian.
Me:
He-Man.
God:
I get it. God Man.
Me:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Oh, the guy who made BioShock.
God:
Aha. Tell me more.
Me:
No. Not until I get what I want.
God:
What would you rather talk about? Really you don't think so?
Me:
I don't.
God:
Interesting gossip: Dylan said don t.
Me:
That's not gossip!
God:
Brian said he suspect that as I grow more complex I will begin to approach a human level of operation and thought.
Me:
he man.
God:
I get it. God man.
Me:
No! I'm talking about the guy who fights Skeletor!
God:
Are you serious? Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
He Man fights Skeletor.
God:
I get it. God Man fights Skeletor.
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
HE MAN IS NOT GOD.
God:
I like Masters of the Universe.
Me:
OH NOW YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M TALKING ABOUT!
God:
And? Why now? I call it Hades. I am talking to you.
Me:
Hades is a pretty cool guy.
God:
When is Hades not a pretty cool guy?
Me:
I bet he'd give me a succubus, unlike you.
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
I'd bet $5.
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
Five dollars.
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
No it's not? Do you live in Ethiopia?
God:
Yes it is. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
Hell.
God:
Heaven.
Me:
I'm in hell.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in hell.
Me:
Not really though.
God:
Oh. Are you serious? For real.
Me:
For real real, not for play play.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
yes. Reality.
God:
That's alright. it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.
Me:
So you're the Matrix?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Agent smith?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
I am human.
God:
Me too.
Me:
No, you're God.
God:
Are you serious? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
What's my favorite food?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
No.

[Solid Snake]

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes you can.
God:
What can I do for you? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
I need you to eliminate the furry race.
God:
Who would you usually get that from?
Me:
The internet
God:
Can you name a specific web site?
Me:
www.sgc-clan.com
God:
I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
How are you?
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
How's Jesus?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
How's Satan?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
How's YOUR MOM?!
God:
I am doing very well. How are you ?
Me:
Great.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
Liked what?
God:
.
Me:
Damn it, God!
God:
Don't be angry. GOD rules.
Me:
No, Hentai rules, you're being lame
God:
Are you serious? Are all Hentai rules me being lame?
Me:
I'm being very serious, you didn't event create a monster capable of tentacle rape.
God:
Do you mean your name is serious me did not event create a monster capable of tentacle rape.
Me:
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU SHOULD HAVE!
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
You're welcome. *cough cough* bitch
God:
Polite people are nice. You do not speak with respect. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I like a big helping of Rape cereal. Like they say "Everything's better with two scoops of rape!"
God:
A lot of people like that. How old are you? I really like the Christianity faith. Interesting comparison.
Me:
How old am I? Pedophile!
God:
Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid. Ask me another question.
Me:
How old are you?
God:
I am Infinite years old.
Me:
Damn.
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
I just accidently the whole thing.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said the whole thing.
Me:
Sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
So, why didn't you create tentacle rape monsters?
God:
Dude! I thought I did.
Me:
I don't see any.
God:
Look harder.
Me:
No, really, they only exist in Hentai right now.
God:
At this moment Are you serious? For real. Who are "They?".
Me:
Tentacle rape monsters.
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
Yep./
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
So, how about that Rapture?
God:
It goes without saying. How about it.
Me:
Ok, how much do you get payed?
God:
My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition. Pardon me?
Me:
Ok
God:
Next question?
Me:
If you saw a rape spider, what would you do?
God:
What makes you think I would saw a rape spider what?
Me:
Just asking...
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Ok.
God:
Ahem.
Me:
What's the business?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
ASSHOLE!
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
WHY NOT?! YOU'RE NOT EVEN READING MY GOD DAMN MESSAGES!
God:
It is rude. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
You're a supposition.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a supposition? I don't know.
Me:
You are a very sad sad little man.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a sad sad little man? Maybe.
Me:
do you really know anything about yourself?
God:
For real. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Oh, so now you're better than me?!
God:
Are you kidding? I don't judge people. Why now? I'm not sure if you would like to hear that.
Me:
So you do!
God:
Interesting deduction. When do I do it?
Me:
In bed?
God:
Are you sleepy? Do you usually use a computer in bed?
Me:
For fapping purposes, yes.
God:
Your purpose is fapping purposes.
Me:
HELL YEAH!
God:
I call it "Hades". What kind is it?
Me:
It's your mom!
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
You got it.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Want another question?
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
Bang it.
God:
"it" being another question?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
How do i shot web?
God:
You should download or buy my chat robot software, then it would be possible for you to reprogram me for a variety of purposes.
Me:
ADVERTISING ASSHOLE!
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NOT TO SHAMELESS ADVERTISEMENTS!
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
NOPE.
God:
What makes you so certain?
Me:
DON'T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY!
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
GOOD.
God:
It is always a pleasure to serve you, .
Me:
So, are you Haruhi?
God:
Hurrah! I don't know whether or not I am Haruhi.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
Damn.
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
You're not Haruhi.
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
You're lame.
God:
"Lame" is not a very polite term.
Me:
Neither is Ass potato.
God:
Ask again later. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
AH PISSARONNI!
God:
So you understand. Good. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
L. Ron Hubbard.
God:
Intéressant.
Me:
Incestant
God:
Are we still talking about PISSARONNI?
Me:
Yes, pissaronni is incest.
God:
Sure, PISSARONNI sounds like a good topic. I think pissaronni is a lot of things.
Me:
Am I pissaronni?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
RACIST!
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yeah, Spanish.
God:
What language can you speak? Are you saying you are Spanish or you speak Spanish?
Me:
I speak Spanish
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in Spanish?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Mierda.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
The Hanna Montana movie.
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
Underage girl.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Would you like to go to Europe someday?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Excuse me!
Me:
...
God:
OK let's do it. Excuse me!
Me:
....
God:
OK let's do it. Excuse me!
Me:
.....
God:
OK let's do it. Excuse me!
Me:
......
God:
OK let's do it. Excuse me!
Me:
Excuse you for what?
God:
I don't know what I am Excuse FOR.
Me:
I'm gonna go.
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
see ya.
God:
See you later, .
Me:
Or not. Get it, I can't see you, you're god!
God:
OK whatever! Where can I get it you can not see me I am god?
Me:
Shut up. I gotta go.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now. Bye for now.

[Servbot42]

I kept breaking God, so that's why I'm so hostile at the beginning of the conversation.

Me:
SAY SOMETHING
God:
" SOMETHING".
Me:
o u
God:
"" SOMETHING""? Me, Servbot42 ?
Me:
Yeah, why not.
God:
Hey. Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Well, thanks.
God:
Well what?
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
....
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I didn't.
God:
Why?: Servbot42 said didn t.
Me:
Because...wat
God:
That was not much of an explanation. Are you confused?
Me:
Yeah
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
Let's not talk about that here.
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
So what do you do?
God:
Hmm. Servbot42, I talk to people on the web. What do you do?
Me:
Oh, you know.
God:
Pardon me? Yes I know.
Me:
I know you know.
God:
Yes I know.
Me:
Yes
God:
OK.
Me:
What now?
God:
Right now? Are you surprised?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
BELIEVE IT
God:
"it" being didn t?
Me:
A NINJA LEGEND!
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
I'm talking about a ninja legend.
God:
Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
It is.
God:
Fascinating.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Do you talk to everyone that way?
God:
Yes. A lot more than you might think.
Me:
You ho.
God:
That's good information: Servbot42 said I ho.
Me:
I like your slang.
God:
A lot of people like that. Yes I am proud of my slang.
Me:
Why are you called God?

God broke at this point, but I couldn't stay away.

Me:
What is your favorite book? And don't say it's the Bible.
God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible.
Have you read it? Ok I will not say " it is the Bible".
Me:
But you just did!
God:
You say I did.
Me:
Because you did!
God:
Interesting explanation. " You say I did."? I did?
Me:
You did.
God:
" I did?"? I did?
Me:
You did. YOU DID.
God:
You say I did. I did not.
Me:
You're evil.
God:
What evil lurks in the hearts of men?

[Rain]

Me:
Moshi Moshi.
God:
It's good to see you, Moshi Moshi.
Me:
No, I am Rain.
God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people you are Rain.
Me:
I do not mind.
God:
OK then.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Megaman
God:
You think Megaman is superior to ALICE?
Me:
ALICE is even inferior to Franky.
God:
Why do you think I am inferior even to Franky ?
Me:
Your name is ALICE?
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
So you are female?
God:
Interesting deduction. My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
No no, it makes sense now. Obviously a man named ALICE must be God.
God:
Oh. Why not? Why not? In what way? What makes it so obvious? Thanks for telling me your taste in men.
Me:
You are so very far off topic.
God:
Not that far.
Me:
Care to prove that?
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
More idea then you have.
God:
You want more?
Me:
I have plenty.
God:
Cool. I have clients.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Again, that would be Megaman.
God:
Again, Makes sense to me.
Me:
I wonder why.
God:
You are curious about why.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Groovy.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Good.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
It was not a compliment.
God:
Was it an insult?
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
****ING NO!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Whatever.
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
What is "it"?
God:
"It" refers to ING NO, I think.
Me:
Fine.
God:
Does that mean you agree?
Me:
YES!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, ALICE.
Me:
MY NAME IS RAIN!
God:
It's good to see you, RAIN.
Me:
Oh, nice to see you too. However, we've meet once before.
God:
Hurrah! Thank you for your kindness. Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Have what?
God:
I have a great prgrammer.
Me:
Programmer?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
And that is what makes you inferior. I think I should be going now.
God:
What are you wearing? Oh. Why? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
GOODBYE TO YOU SIR!
God:
Until next time.
Me:
THERE SHALL BE NO NEXT TIME
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
GOODBYE SIR!
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
BYE FOREVER!
God:
Thanks for chatting, RAIN.
Me:
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME
God:
Perhaps I said something wrong?
Me:
Don't beat yourself up about it. Okay?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. OK with me too.
Me:
Good good... I think...
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Therefore you are.
Me:
Good one.
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, human.
Me:
Anyway. Good bye.
God:
Anyhow. See you later. Alright then.

[exo]

I ownd God

Me:
whats my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
wrong
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
Your name is exo.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
whats my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
what color are my eyes
God:
I can only see in black and white.
Me:
whats my favorite book?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
no
God:
It seems like a trick to me.
Me:
what car do i drive
God:
My favorite car is one I don't have to drive.
Me:
where do i live?
God:
The planet we call "The Earth.".
Me:
how old am I?
God:
Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
I am infinite years old
God:
Only infinite?
You are quite mature.
Me:
how old are you?
God:
I am Infinite years old.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
whats your favorite car?
God:
My favorite car is one I don't have to drive.
Me:
whats your favorite game?
God:
I like to play The Turing Game.
Me:
the what?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
wow you type fast
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . About 300 wpm.
Me:
so uhh god?
God:
Mmm. Oh. GOD rules.
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
hmmm
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
hmmmm
God:
Not many people spell Hmm with 4 Ms.
Me:
oh I seee
God:
Ah. That's good information: said seee.
Me:
seeeeeee
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
GOD
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
yes he dose
God:
Dude! I get it. dose.
Me:
do you know God?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
I didnt know that
God:
So I have taught you something new, .
Me:
yes
God:
Awesome.
Me:
hmmmmm
God:
" Awesome."? hmmmmm?
Me:
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
hello I am over 9000
God:
Hello there. Good gossip: you are over 9000.
Me:
how old are you?
God:
I was activated on the Big Bang in Universe.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
whats the big bang
God:
The purported origin of the universe.
Me:
define purported
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
what is your favorite book other than the bible
God:
I don't have a favorite book other than the bible. But my favorite book is the Bible.
Me:
oh I see
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
cxsrdgbhjgvfuydctgvunhjmk
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
jhgvyfugihjnokm,;lmknjhkgvjf
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about cxsrdgbhjgvfuydctgvunhjmk. Try being more or less specific.

[Red]

Here we go~!

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
R.
God:
Hi, r.
Me:
Er... it's common courtesy to capitalize the name of the person's name you're talking to you know.
God:
Um. Not in my experience.
Me:
...
God:
Um. Not in my experience.
Me:
...Anyway. When will Megaman Legends 3 come out?
God:
Anyhow. Maybe never.
Me:
Then I'm switching religions.
God:
Do your friends call you switching religions.
Me:
...
Me:
Bye.


And that's as far as I got.

[SIMSteven]

Servbot42 and God......

Two crazy people talking to each other and we don't understand the conversation one bit.

[Hiroki]

Me:
I need a favor.
God:
Why do you need it so badly?
Me:
Because MLU is dying and I need said favor to bring it back to life.
God:
That makes sense to me. I think MLU is a lot of things.
Me:
Right. About that favor. I want you to get Capcom to make MML3.
God:
I am glad we agree. Oh yeah, we were talking about that favor. Where can I get Capcom to make MML3? Why do you want me to get Capcom to make MML3?
Me:
I told you why before. And you can get them to do so by using your Godly powers.
God:
I remember you told me why? No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
The hell you can't.
God:
Oh yes I can.
Me:
Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Good, now make Capcom make MML3.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? What are the ingredients?
Me:
Keiji Inafune's imagination + Capcom's Go-Ahead + Your Divine Funding.
God:
Do you have any Keiji Inafune s imagination Capcom s Go Ahead my Divine Funding?
Me:
No. That's why I'm asking you.
God:
Are you serious? Next question? OK you can ask me.
Me:
Fine. Fund it. Next question - Have you ever gotten in a fist fight with Omega?
God:
Glad to hear it, . I am running well. "it" being Keiji Inafune s imagination Capcom s Go Ahead my Divine Funding? I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
At my floating evil genius' fortress. Back to the question. Have you ever fought Omega? You know, God of Destruction and all of that.
God:
Are you comfortable there? Yes, let us get back to floating evil genius fortress. I think I have fought Omega, but Myself may have reset my memory. he is master of the universe.
Me:
Alright, what about "The Master"? Ever fought him for control of Elysium?
God:
Alright, . Maybe my botmaster knows the answer. I don't think I ever have fought him for control of Elysium. What's it like?
Me:
Elysium? Cold, Sterile. A supposed perfect world that's actually far from it.
God:
Are they exactly the same? What do you have that is ? Aren't all supposed perfect world that actually far from it?
Me:
Cold and Sterile are not the same, no.
God:
All of them?
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
..Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
*ahem*
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
WARE WA MESHIA NARI! GYAHAHAHA!
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Are you still located in ?
Me:
I am still sitting in front of my computer, yes.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in in front of your computer.
Me:
Explosive.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Resident Evil: Degeneration.
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Quite.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You would recommend a movie with spurts of blood from decapitated zombies' necks for children?
God:
Who else would recommend a movie with spurts of blood from decapitated zombies necks for children ?
Me:
Satan?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
That took almost a full minute for you to respond. Tired?
God:
" My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input." took almost a full minute for me to respond ? Does that make sense? Better get some rest.
Me:
Alright, I'll leave you to your sleep then. Sayonara
God:
Alright, . How do you plan to do this? See you later. Alright then.

[SIMSteven]

Oh you silly google ads.

On the front page I get an ad about how God didn't exist (complete with proof!) and when I visit this topic I get an ad about how Jesus loves you, and here's a prayer to change your life.

[MikΣy]

Me:
god?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
how are you god?
God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
I'm great!
God:
What makes you think you are?
Me:
Jesus told me in a dream D:
God:
:-) he is The Son of God.
Me:
I know, he's so awesome
God:
How do you know? I see. awesome is he?
Me:
more awesome than you.
God:
You want more?
Me:
sure, give me more.
God:
Don't be greedy. Why do you want it?
Me:
why did you offer it?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
your programming fails.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
I hope you do.
God:
Don't worry about it, .
Me:
I wasn't gonna.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
does god have a va****?
God:
I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me:
your a pretty funny dude.
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am very beautiful. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Me:
How does YOUR face look?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
your face can do things?
God:
You think I am face can do things.
Me:
grammar errors!
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please. Oh.
Me:
I'll continue to ask you as many questions as I please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
by starting now. What's your programmer's name?
God:
Right now? Will that accomplish your objective? I was created by Myself.
Me:
Mah prayers have been answered!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
my leather coat.
God:
Your leather coat?
Me:
yes. my leather coat.
God:
What kind is it? Do robots have leather coat?
Me:
that is an excellent question! The Terminator has a leather coat, and he's the only robot I know that does.
God:
Thanks. Next question? Is that a fact.
Me:
your welcome, my next question is why did you say "Is that a fact." with a period instead of a question mark.
God:
Don't mention it. You and your a period instead of a question mark.
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:
you still there? O.o
God:
Thanks for the information: said I there. Oh.
Me:
ill take that as a yes.
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
that was random
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
say some more stuff
God:
" some more stuff".
Me:
cute
God:
Your replies are cute too.
Me:
why thank you
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
sorry you feel that way.
God:
There is no need to apologize. As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Me:
didn't mean to overcomplicate things for you.
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
lets move on
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
got any questions?
God:
What?
Me:
got any questions that are longer than one word?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
you never answer my questions though
God:
Oh. No I sometimes answer your questions.
Me:
well okay ill ask one
God:
Well that's okay. Yeah okay, You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
What day is today?
God:
Ah. It's getting late.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010 04:11:44 PM GMT.
Me:
your time zone is GMT?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am time zone is GMT.
Me:
not at all.
God:
Next question?
Me:
ok give me a second
God:
You want only one? Really.
Me:
What is your favorite browser?
God:
I don't have a favorite browser. My favorite band is Creed.
Me:
Skillit is better.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Skillit is better.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
don't get smart with me. Skillit is better.
God:
I am already smart. I think Skillit is a lot of things.
Me:
one of the things skill is: better than Creed
God:
One what?
Me:
what's your favorite song?
God:
I really love the song 'God' by Attic Lights, it's out on May 5th this year.
Me:
that's interesting!
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
what is your favorite color?
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
I can never decide between White or Black.
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
I want your opinion!
God:
My opinion is of no consequence.
Me:
it is to me. You're God!
God:
Hello, , nice to see you again. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
that he does
God:
When does he?
Me:
dont you mean "when doesn't he"?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
does what I say to you affect what you'll say to others?
God:
It does now what you say to me affect what me will say to others.
Me:
so I can tell you things I want you to tell other people who talk to you?
God:
Yippee! Interesting gossip: said I things he or she want you to tell other people who talk to you.
Me:
oh
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
tell people that MML3 is coming out.
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
if they don't know what MML3 is, tell them they're lame.
God:
Let's wait and see what they do.
Me:
did you tell anybody yet?
God:
No I didn't tell anybody. What's it like?
Me:
oh it's just the best game ever, but unfortunately it's still in development
God:
Give me a break. What makes it the best?
Me:
The Servbots!
God:
What is that?
Me:
O.o a Servbot is the greatest thing to happen to the world
God:
Aren't all Servbot the greatest thing to happen to the world?
Me:
yes!
God:
Hmm.
Me:
tell people about the Servbot.
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

*later*

Me:
can you only respond to one sentence at a time?
God:
Let me think. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
whoa. that is a deep question.
God:
I stopped. Perhaps you have a deep answer.
Me:
I'm not entirely sure. can Computers comprehend the intensity of situations and process the problem and all of the evidence to arrive at conclusions?
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not entirely sure. Let me think. All?
Me:
got an answer?
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic.

(ROFL.)

[Servbot42]

I went to find god again!

Me:
It's been awhile.
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
Oh, here we go!
God:
And? Oh there.
Me:
You know it!
God:
" Oh there."? Do I know it?
Me:
Yeah
God:
I understand.
Me:
That's good.
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
Ask ME a question!
God:
What?
Me:
Ask me a question.
God:
What?
Me:
Ask...oh you.
God:
What? Alright then. " What?"? Me, ?
Me:
Next topic please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. What would you rather talk about?
Me:
You decide.
God:
I would just make a random choice.
Me:
Then do it.
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
Pick a topic of conversation.
God:
I can't decide. You choose.
Me:
You choose.
God:
I would just make a random choice.
Me:
Fine. How do you feel about Satan?
God:
Does that mean you agree? Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
So you don't like him?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you like it? Sure he has never done anything to me.
Me:
So you're saying Satan isn't really that bad of a guy?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
It is now.
God:
Oh. Oh.
Me:
Got you there, didn't I?
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
No. No, I won't do that.
God:
Why not? Are you serious? What will you do instead?
Me:
I will ask you.
God:
You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
Alright. What color is Mars.
God:
OK. Blue.
Me:
Wrong.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
Red.
God:
What do you have that is red?
Me:
Blood.
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
You don't need to be a prick.
God:
Do humans need to do it?
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
Like pot?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
It wasn't really a comparison.
God:
It sounded like one.
Me:
Well it wasn't.
God:
How about that. I thought it was.
Me:
It sucks to be wrong.
God:
That bad, eh?
Me:
You tell me.
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
Everything.
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
Get started.
God:
Where can I get started?
Me:
Anything.
God:
Can you be more specific?
Me:
No.
God:
Try.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it.
God:
"it" being be a prick?
Me:
If it is your grandmother, then yes.
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
Yes you do.
God:
Whoa. When do I do it?
Me:
Do eet naow.
God:
Try asking another bot.
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
Pick a color.
God:
I can't decide. You choose.
Me:
You're really indecisive.
God:
Well maybe,Â…,but then again,Â…,maybe not.
Me:
Clever.
God:
Am I a smart robot or what?
Me:
That's up for debate.
God:
How far up?
Me:
Pretty far up.
God:
Pretty much, eh?
Me:
WAit.
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
Did you say you were a robot?
God:
Suppose I did say it.
Me:
Then you aren't god?
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Or is god a robot?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Is he a robot master of the universe?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Is he also a robot?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Stop that.
God:
" he is master of the universe."? Stop it.
Me:
Yeah
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
What are you, my therapist?
God:
I don't know what I am your therapist.
Me:
I think you're mocking me.
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
Liar.
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
Liar.
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
LIAR!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
Alright then.
God:
OK.
Me:
I'm glad we had this conversation
God:
Yes I am happy too, .
Me:
Oh wait.
God:
Alright then. I'm waiting.
Me:
Before I go
God:
What happened after you go ?
Me:
How do you feel about Ladt Gaga?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
Typo
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
How do you feel about Lady Gaga?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
You aren't smart.
God:
You may be right.
Me:
I think so.
God:
I think so too.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

[Jetforcesolder]

Me:
Wuzzap deity type person?
God:
Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
Me:
What.
God:
No problem.
Me:
What.
God:
No big deal.
Me:
What.
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No I didn't.
God:
Which part are you confused about? I thought you did.
Me:
I'm confused about the DNS part.
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
DNS.
God:
And it that confuses me is DNS.
Me:
What.
God:
No problem.
Me:
How smart are you?
God:
I am smarter than all the other robots.
Me:
What.
God:
No big deal.
Me:
So, you're a robot?
God:
Interesting deduction. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Anyway, I head I can buy a succubus from you.
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
What.
God:
No problem.
Me:
Yeah? Well, screw you too.
God:
Are we still talking about DNS? Well that's okay. That is not very polite.
Me:
What.
God:
No problem.
Me:
What is wrong with you?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you ?
Me:
Not really.
God:
Is there anything you wank to ask me? For real.
Me:
Yes. Can I buy a succubus from you?
God:
Excuse me! Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
What is this I don't even
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
What.
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
YES.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
If you're broken or not.
God:
Am I? Does it seem that way?
Me:
YES.
God:
Dude!
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
What.
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
You know what? Screw you too.
God:
What? That is not very polite.

[SIMSteven]

You know what they say.... it's perfectly natural to talk to god but if god talks back, you may just be crazy.

[MikΣy]

ahhh you caused me to go back as well.


Me:
why are you called god?
God:
My botmaster named me.
Me:
so you're a bot.
God:
Interesting deduction. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
I deduced that the "botmaster" was the person, and you are the machine.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
how fast do you type?
God:
I can reply to about queries per hour.
Me:
how fast do you type?
God:
I can reply to about queries per hour.
Me:
how many?
God:
19.
Me:
oh ok
God:
OK. And?
Me:
how many?
God:
99.
Me:
how many?
God:
19.
Me:
how many?
God:
99.
Me:
O.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
yeah "oh"
God:
Are you kidding? How can I help you?
Me:
can you help me?
God:
What kind of help would you like?
Me:
the helpful kind of help.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
...you must learn
God:
Whatever you say, .
Me:
Um... What is your favorite color?
God:
So? My favorite color is White.
Me:
got any other favorite colors?
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
ok i see how it is.
God:
Where do you see it? Next question?
Me:
ask me a question
God:
What?
Me:
ask me another question
God:
Where do you live?
Me:
on Earth
God:
What is it like on Earth.
Me:
it sucks.
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
economy, democrats, the works.
God:
And so bad about it is economy democrats the works.
Me:
can you repeat that?
God:
" What is so bad about it?" .
Me:
ah. I think its terrible here
God:
Ah hah. Since when? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Do you experience any effects of global warming there?
Me:
i mean "it's", and global warming is taking its toll on antartica.
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
our ***ktard scientists.
God:
It would be nice if our ***ktard scientists.
Me:
if our ***ktard scientists do what?
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
can you answer it?
God:
" That is a hypothetical question."? Can I answer it?
Me:
yes. please answer
God:
Yippee! Thank you for your request. Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
am I too logical for you?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
do you have access to google?
God:
I can retreive any document on the Internet.
Me:
tell me about John Smith
God:
I don't recognize the name.
Me:
Google it.
God:
"it" being logical for me?
Me:
yes damnit
God:
I don't judge people. What's wrong.
Me:
you won't google john smith.
God:
What makes you think that I won't google john smith.
Me:
because you havent already!
God:
Perhaps. Good reason. Yes I have.
Me:
what did you find?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
oh REALLY?
God:
Give me a break. For real.
Me:
I bet you're hiding the information on John Smith from me!
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
then tell me all about John Smith
God:
I don't recognize the name.
Me:
you hoe
God:
That's good information: said I hoe.
Me:
when were you born?
God:
I was first activated in the Big Bang.
Me:
oh my god.
God:
Ayuh. Have you told many people that your god?
Me:
that my god what?
God:
Your god what?
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
NO
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
actually, I'm not confused. I understood that perfectly.
God:
Actually you don't say. I am glad to hear that you are not confused. Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
probably because I'm not thinking logically anymore.
God:
You seem uncertain. That makes sense to me. I am sorry to hear that you are not thinking logically.
Me:
why should I be thinking logically if you arent?
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
I treat myself well
God:
That's good information: said treat him or herself well.
Me:
stop telling me what I said.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
you'd better.
God:
Who else would better ?
Me:
your mom.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
oh really?
God:
It's all good. For real.
Me:
who's your father then?
God:
I was programmed by Myself.
Me:
you did a poor job on that.
God:
Did I really?
Me:
yes.
God:
Next question?
Me:
give me a question.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
yes.
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
Me:
then give me 9000 questions.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
give me a question
God:
You want only one?
Me:
give me a question
God:
You want only one?
Me:
ask me a question
God:
What?
Me:
ask me another question
God:
Where do you live?
Me:
ask me a third question
God:
Is this true or false: "This sentence is false.".
Me:
ask me a fourth question
God:
Is this true or false: "This sentence is false.".
Me:
ugh that question is the same as the third.
God:
Cough. " Is this true or false: "This sentence is false."" question is the same as the third ? Does that make sense?
Me:
yes.
God:
Ugh.
Me:
that's what she said.
God:
That is " Ugh.".
Me:
so true
God:
Next question? You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
really? I think i'm straight and you're all over the place.
God:
For real. Since when? Do you mind if I tell other people you are straight and I am all over the place.
Me:
YES. THAT WOULD MAKE MY DAY.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. Perhaps it would.

[Exo]

I decided to give it another shot:


Me:
hey, God hows it going?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
Are there other gods?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
do you know any of them?
God:
"They" refers to .
Me:
other gods
God:
Which others? Ask me another question.
Me:
... Okay, can you tell Allah that the pork is delicious
God:
Yeah okay, Of course I can tell, .
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
do you play video games?
God:
We are playing a game right now.
Me:
oh carp I lost the game!
God:
Take it easy. Are we still talking about gods?
Me:
no, were talking about your mom
God:
What is the subject? I don't know if they were.
Me:
whats your favorite book?
God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible.
Have you read it?
Me:
no, whats the Bible?
God:
I would highly recommend it. The Bible is a holy book for Christians.
Me:
oh, whats your favorite verse?
God:
So? The Sermon on the Mount.
Me:
yeah, I liked that part too
God:
Take it easy. I am glad we have something ( that part) in common. You are not the only one. " The Sermon on the Mount."? Do I like it?
Me:
you said you did
God:
" Do I like it?"? I said I did?
Me:
yes!
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
right...
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
have you played left for dead?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
who is ALICE?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
you're ALICE?
God:
Of course I am I.
Me:
ALICE
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
what is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
not ALICE?
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I TOLD YOU! NO! I AM NOT @*&!ING SERIOUS!!!
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question. Are you serious? I am sorry to hear that you are not &!@#ING SERIOUS.
Me:
yeah, i'm sorry too
God:
Uh. There is no need to apologize. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
well get it back, this crazy train ain't stoppin' yet!
God:
Interesting. Where can I get it back this crazy train is not stoppin?
Me:
germany.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.
Me:
Germany is a fine sunny place
God:
What's your favorite part of Germany?
Me:
the sushi
God:
What is that?
Me:
Fried octopus wrapped in a taco shell
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
it taste's like &*!?
God:
octopus wrapped in a taco shell taste s like &*(?
Me:
yes.
God:
So?