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Post by SIMSteven on Apr 23, 2011 13:50:15 GMT -5
Hmmmm....
Aero apparently has a falling out with her father in the canon and one scenario in the prototype seems like Barrett tries to cheer her up by taking her out for some snacks and entertainment... or something.
Perhaps this Red Digger Syndicate is lead by her father but she could have a bit of a Roll syndrome where she doesn't know it's him? Might take a retcon though.
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Apr 23, 2011 17:14:54 GMT -5
Well shit. Is that according to devroom stuff? Unfortunate... Rarrr... U need to read this to help me keep it canon... I'm pretty sure I actually SAID they were dead... I'll have to retcon it. I really wanna be as close as possible... But honestly, I just picked a really bad time to write this.... I had ten years, and I decided to write while while I was learning that I was writing it wrong....
Help me lol
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Post by SIMSteven on Apr 23, 2011 20:29:28 GMT -5
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Apr 23, 2011 22:48:10 GMT -5
Well, I retconned that chapter on fanfiction.net, where you actually publish the stuff... The only thing I really changed was aero's dad is alive, and she had a falling out... at the moment, it was really just kind of explaining out she got in the position she was in currently, at the hospital, not really delving that deep into her yet, but I can later... and I haven't really introduced barrett at all yet cause when I wrote it, he didn't exist yet.... he may come in the chapter after the one i'm writing now.... maybe this one.... As for that, I'm thinking I'm gonna use this site as the springboard for when I actually update.... so I'll just post what I have so far, and you can tell me how you like it, or maybe want the rest of the chapter to go... That was you can all be my beta readers before I post it up on fanfiction.net So here's what I have so far for the new chapter... feels a LITTLE weak, maybe I can flesh out the reactions a bit more... I don't know... The only thing I'm actually liking about it is that I found a nice way to explain what the first chapters did in a way that doesn't completely repeat it all, and have megaman explaining what he used to be to just the girls, which should lead to some interesting thoughts... and to finally get them all looking at that thing he got on Elysium a little bit closer... Attachments:
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Post by NeoSpearBlade on Apr 25, 2011 16:48:12 GMT -5
2 days later, here's my review on FF.net
BTW, all of my reviews will be on FF.net. Why? Because it's my attempt to try and increase the hit count there. I hope it's working.
Before I continue, I've read from the previous posts that new info about MML3 came out a few days ago by the dev team......but I won't read it. I don't want to know what's new on the game until it actually comes out. (Don't question this, even I don't have a proper reason for it. Part of my life.)
That being said, I must say the highly unlikely suggestion of you doing the same until you finish the story. You have an idea for a story for the sequel and if you keep reading info from the MML3 devroom, that idea starts to slowly merge with the official info and the idea gets lost. That's my fear and suggestion but you decide what to do because no matter what, I'll keep reading this story.
Hell, this might work as a novel of the game (and at the same time, publicity for it) and novels don't have to stay true to the original version. Example: The DOOM novels.
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Post by Cere on Apr 29, 2011 20:47:41 GMT -5
Thanks for the links, Sim. I haven't been keeping up with stuff a the Devroom. Besides Barrett performing the 'Rider Kick' www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2adfiMX6gE in the trailer, nothing made me happier than knowing that the guy who sang the curry song www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DwbXEwA8vY will be providing his voice to this neat new character. Sorry that my post has nothing to do with your story, Typhon. I've been putting it off cause I know I'll need something entertaining to read when school starts again next week. But from everyone's comments, it sounds like you're doing great.
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on May 2, 2011 2:54:08 GMT -5
haha, no big deal Cere... I'm currently paused for the week to finish studying for my finals, then I get my two degrees on saturday... after that I'll have a little bit of time to finish a few chapters... hopefully so you can read them when you are bored haha
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Post by NeoSpearBlade on May 15, 2011 8:55:52 GMT -5
It's been 2 weeks......I'm starting to get worried now.....
Where's that update?
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on May 16, 2011 9:41:08 GMT -5
Don't worry! I haven't forgotten this... Not even in the slightest. These two weeks had a lot going for me. I got my two degrees, commenced, started bar training at my work, while I go BACK to school to finish a few prereqs for med school, which started TODAY, and are apparently hard classes that I decided to take at an accelerated pace... lol....
I think I'm writing tonight and tomorrow though, so don't worry, I already had hammered out 10 pages or so the other day, so I'll just keep on trucking, I know it seems like I'm not doing anything, but there is not really any way that I can show I'm working on it, other than posting it haha
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Post by SIMSteven on May 16, 2011 12:34:25 GMT -5
I guess it's finals for everyone.
Glad I'm past that phase in my life. The Dev Room's pretty slow these days because of it, too.
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Post by NeoSpearBlade on May 16, 2011 13:42:04 GMT -5
there is not really any way that I can show I'm working on it, other than posting it haha Well, you could make a post every week where you say what happen in terms of the story and your life. Doing so would satisfy the curiousity of how's the story coming along while at the same time telling them what other things are happening in your life that may or may not interrupt the story so that they can be patient. I guess it's finals for everyone. Glad I'm past that phase in my life. The Dev Room's pretty slow these days because of it, too. Finals here too. This is the final week for me (ends on Thursday) before I take my summer vacation.
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Jun 3, 2011 23:00:28 GMT -5
....Um.... I'm a bad person... aren't I? Stupid summer classes. Attachments:
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Post by Typhon Purifier 89 on Jun 4, 2011 15:37:47 GMT -5
I've already written 11 pages of the next chapter already... But it will probably be a bit longer, so I can't say I'll post it immediately tonight... I'll keep going on it though... I am going to like actually getting into the Legends 3 part of it though... the new adventure... and oh man, I can't wait till I get to the part about how its all going to start... Probably in the next chapter after this one!! It's going to be a lot of fun...
I miss all of your reviews... lol
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Post by Cere on Jun 28, 2011 14:30:31 GMT -5
Sorry for the late review. It turned out to be a good thing though that I postponed reading Chapter 8 as long as I did because if I read it two months back, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it as much, and I wouldn’t have been able to review it as well (it’s like I had a writer’s block specifically for reviews that kept me from saying what I thought as I read, or thinking of anything interesting to review in general.) And I printed out Chapters 8 and 9 so that I won’t kill my eyes reading it on my slowpoke net book.
Chapter 8 is probably my favourite chapter after the first chapter. I remember thinking to myself “Now the story’s getting somewhere.” That’s not to say that nothing significant happened in the previous chapters, but it’s the first chapter after Megaman is rescued from Elysium and the beginning of new adventures. I know you already set up a little as to what Megaman’s new adventure will be about, but I didn’t enjoy reading about X and the Elders as much as Megaman back among his friends. Oddly enough, when I tried to write Legends fan fiction in the past, I always made Megaman tackling the evils of the Ancients the story’s major focus; it didn’t occur to me until now how much I enjoy the simple story of Megaman living with the Carbons. I don’t know many stories that do this, but some animes I’ve seen made me think that the writer basically thought to hell with plot, and tried to portray the characters in their surroundings as naturally as possible, and still manages to deliver a charming episode. A recent anime, Fractale, was a bit like this, at least until the story became incredibly convoluted and lost the subtler social commentary that I admired in the first episode. So in relation to your story, parts like chapter 8 are the ones I like the most.
At the same time, exposition is important too, and I saw that you dedicated almost half of chapter 8 to informing the Carbons about the events up to this point. It’s probably a literary technique I don’t know about, but I always found it a little lazy and disappointing when one or a group of characters has to explain something to the other characters and the author omits the actual explanation as if the author couldn’t think of a way to show the reader what they already know without boring the reader, hence leaving it out. Yours isn’t like that. Like a real conversation, Yuna and Sera’s explanation wasn’t particularly organized or chronological. And that really helped to create an effect where I felt like an unseen observer witnessing an event that was actually taking place.
Some final thoughts. Man, I’m starting to love Ira more and more. I love the way she’s obviously a clever girl but also demure by the way she always slinks back into the background apologetically after sharing her insights. She’s a nice contrast to Roll and Tron whom are both obviously very intelligent and are not afraid to show it. I love her for her unintentional outbursts like when she couldn’t help but remark on the coolness of an image of Trigger duking it out with Sera because those are and have always been my thoughts exactly. Another thing I noticed I started doing is leaving the author’s notes till after reading the chapter itself to keep what comes next more of a surprise.
Ah, I completely forgot to talk about Aero. Coincidences like being hit by a rocket are a staple of anime so good job. Surviving it wouldn’t really fly in anything besides anime either. I like how you brought her into the story.
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Post by SIMSteven on Jun 28, 2011 16:26:10 GMT -5
Well commenting on the comment, it sounds like this chapter was like Episode 11 of the Loveless anime (and I can't even being to guess where it'd land in the manga, since I've never read it).
I suppose I'll say it's a rather emotion-driven anime that hints at a lot of taboo subjects (ex. sexual) without actually doing any tasteless (ex. sexual) scenarios.
And Cere, I think it's called a 'cut-out' when they "fade the screen to black in order to not explain plot like a lazy writer."
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